Saturday, September 20, 2014

You need to revisit your tailor sir.


After going up the roof, I all too quickly pack my bag. I’ve got my gun, I’ve got my Gangster Jacket, I’ve got my ohh too long Gangster trousers, and I’ve got my needle and thread.


I close the door and head to the M6.


By the time I get to Stockport there’s nobody in. I settle down until Alan calls to say put the kettle on we are on our way back.


I carry on with my sewing whilst looking through the new patio doors. Right said Alan time to get changed Nack.


And so here we are in our gangster outfits. What a pair. “Zoe are you ready? We are leaving” said Alan. “Well your leaving without me if you go now” replies Zoe.


I make a gangster pose for a second.


And then Alan tries to calm us all down by putting on one of his favourite records he has picked up. Horrifying I think you’d call it.


We have a beer instead and when Zoe comes down, the wait has been worth it.


It not as though many people meet a Gangster everyday and there are some smiles here and there as we walk down the street and to the railway station. On the train and to Piccadilly and then onto the tram system, stopping at Sainsbury's to buy supper glue for Zoe and a pair of sissors for me. These items are surely going to be useful latter but may not help getting in some of the places. As we wander the streets of Manchester I know they are trying to loose me again. But as we walk the street with more smiles a lady comes over to me and asks for directions. Alan and Zoe look at me puzzled and ask “what did she want?” “Other than to say what a great outfit I’m wearing? She wanted some directions.” I reply. “And you gave them to her!” they exclaimed. “Of course I did” and off we wandered to the Hub and Food Festival Venue.


Yah the gangsters are together once more, what a poise.


After a few beers and food, we were moving on. Now the nights entertainment was sold to me as a locked game in a club. and had had envisage a locked room full of strangers all playing hardcore board games. The board games I’d look forward to, being locked in a room full of strangers not so. Anyway this wasn’t what was happening.


What was happening was we were walking down some back street, to meet some forgien guy to be allowed through some steel doorway into a disused warehouse. Yep the scence was set and it was creepy. It went through my head, hell what kind of locked geeky game room is this? Is Zoe sure of what we are agreeing to here? Has she watched the hostel as this is getting awfully creepy as we are lead to the back of the warehouse and up some stairs!


Oh course I should have read the notice on the door in the first place as this was a crystal maze type puzzle affair.


And with that he whisked Rosie away and locked her up somewhere for us to initially rescue.


With puzzle one solved and the beautiful damsel in distress rescued, we now search the room to work our way through the clues to make our way out and escape.


I think the answer is 9 I think.


Some brain puzzles, some were physical.


and amazingly it all got sovled. But not only that…


We did it in the second best time ever! yeah.


And off we went to the bar to celebrate. But would they let us in? The door man looked at me and said nice suit but I’m not sure you can come in and went to clarfiy. A bit later he came back. “I’m sorry sir but there’s no fancy dress allowed” he said. “Fancy dress”, I replied, “this isn’t fancy dress, this is how I always go out. this is the finest tailored suit in town.” He replied” Dear Sir if you always go out in that can I suggest you revisit your tailor!”. Ah the cheek of it! We bid him goodbye and head next door, where we get some drinks in the noisy bar.


We get some drinks and squeeze into a booth.


This is it then, now is the time to use the scissors before I get to drunk to be in control of them and nip of the ends of the extra long trouser legs. Hell who needs a tailor.


Wow Nack you are a man of many skills. Not really have you seen the wavy cut I’ve done to each leg?


“Nack they’re going to look a great fit now” said Zoe. “I know just think of all the pea I’m not going to suck up with them from the gents floor!” I reply


and so the drinking went on.


And on, for some of us the cocktails started early.


For others we waited until the Zombie Shack which seemed to specialise in cocktails only.


Which Simon loved.


And the Zombie cocktail came complete with fire!


So there go your eyebrows.


Rosie take the opportunity to shoot me in the head. Something about me deserving it? I have no idea what she means..


“That's him dealt with” she says elegantly and


“Nack its time to dance mate” said Alan. “But I’m dead Alan!” I whimper.


And so the legs start to wobble around in a ferocious fashion.


At some point we have one last drink, and then Zoe says IMG_20140921_014259_895

“Come on Nack we’ll go for a curry”. I knew she was joking but I did get to see the curry houses as our taxi speed through Rushmoor.


"Nowhere Near The End Of the Rainbow"
contains information that is non-accurate, made up and in some cases just down right lies. Anything in this blogg may be based on true fiction but to help dramatise it, some items may have been embellished. Some names are made up, others are not and any that are familar to yours just are.





 Near The End Of The Rainbow

An account of something that may one day turn out to be wonderful.......