Friday, October 31, 2014

Why am I still Standing?

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As we walk out of the gate of the car park and down the dark lane towards the station and the Swam and Mitre pub I consider that I may have made a mistake telling everyone I was going to line up 20 Sambuca's and drink them in quick progression to mark the occasion of employment for twenty years.

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On the whole when they didn’t appear on the bar there was a air of disappointment and one of well he’s not stupid. However I just didn’t want to die on the spot in that pub.

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And so a long Brew XI was order after I corrected myself from asking for a Castlemain four X which luckily they didn’t do! Along with it my first double Sambuca. No I wasn’t going to let the side down, I was still going to try a drink twenty of them starting now.

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Erm this is going to get messy? Who the hell is going to look after him?

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The Swan and Mitre was done out really nicely, some great effort had been put in. No doubt there would be a disco later.

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They even had a fully working witch, when you walked up to her she…..

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Got me another double, so that was four.

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Jacqui didn’t look impressed. Nack this will get messy. But at this point she didn’t realise just quiet how messy it was going to get.

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Then it was six.

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The countdown had begun.

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The disco had started.

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And number eight had been drunk. So are we moving on or staying for some disco dancing.

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The decision was to see if Nack could still walk and off we went to catch the train into Brum Central.

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I desperately tried to get a ticket to the centre but whilst I was on the machine the train came and well I got on it with the others. And you may well have thought that was that, but when I got to Brum Central I did buy I ticket for some of the journey home, as somehow I thought I wouldn’t be able to later.

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We went to the Bacchus Bar, a place that looks as new as it did some 18 years ago. Nothing has changed in here at all. Drinks are ordered and

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some people sit down.

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Me though is at the bar. I pay for the round bar card and give them a six seven pound tip and the bar staff love me. I ask for it back.

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Mr Burchill turns up to see number ten.

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Now its a classy establishment this and all I can say is, Why am I still standing?

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I go onto singles and have number Eleven and number twelve separately.

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We move onto the Shakespear and there's no stopping us now, Number thirteen, along with another pint of course.

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I might be in trouble one considers.

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And then fourteen is down.

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From here on things get vague. I know this because I don’t know it. What I didn’t know was Bernie fooled me into drinking half a pint of water telling me it was the six Sambuca's left, and apparently after necking it I was upset that she had poisoned my body with water. As I say it didn't happen.

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Apparently we left that bar and headed to my favourite Two Smoking Barrels, alias the Old Joint Stock. Now I didn’t get in, the bouncer refused me. The others went in apart from two, who decided it was time to take me to the station. They didn’t just take me to the station.

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Nope, they actually sat me on the correct train in a seat. I didn’t know this then but when they left they suddenly wondered if I would ever get off?

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I did get off, someone who said they would collect me at the station if need be texted me, just before the station. So I was awake, I wobbled to the nearest kebab house, and had the worlds worst ever Kebab I’ve ever had and then made what seemed a very long walk home. When I got home I remembered the milk man may have been and found the milk behind the bins, I even put my kebab rubbish in my bin, that I discovered the next day. And once in I went to bed…..What I didn’t know was just how messy things had got in Brum without me…..

The Last Super

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Dressed in normal everyday wear I await at the station for the early train, reaching the station early enough to not have to run. It is quiet here, just a few people, with just the birds twittering in the background whilst I listen out for the sound of the rails slowly twanging as they take the stress of the train some miles away yet. For this is the last Friday of breakfast club, will I miss leaving the house early?? And just what time will I get home today? One ponders if I'll actually make it back at all...

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I arrive at work, its mufti day and for some who aren't going out tonight there is a fancy dress them on, on their faces and in there attitude to work for the day.

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Of course I don’t want to be left out, afterall I am the clown and I am going out tonight.

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Most important though, today is the last day of the canteen. I head over and order up. He rustles me up a breakfast I say goodbye to the chef, thank him for feeding me so well over the years. For I have yet to remember what it is like without a canteen. What it was like, nope I don’t want to think about the sandwich making, I know I am too lazy to do them myself. I know I do anything but make those sandwiches either in the morning or last thing at night. I consider the healthy option, I consider the unhealthy option. Not for breakfast but for what I am going to eat next week at dinner time. How am I going to persuade myself to eat lie my body is a temple once more after indulging so badly this week.

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A few more turn up, cheer and still obviously their brain asleep from the real world of work.. We are making the most of this.

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and then Jazz turns up! There no need to ask, he’s madder than I am! how can that be so. If I’m not the maddest then what am I.

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One thing is for sure I am full. Maybe not full of madness but full of cheap non quality food that will keep me going until later tonight. We finish our plates

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And Hi Jean brings us more, more, more. but time trolls to pay up and

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eventually to say goodbye and thankyou to HiJean as well. It has been good, it has been great, and bid her farewell and all the luck she will need for the future.

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Back at my desk I realise my hat needs fairy lights, and so be it.

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Its not the only thing I find at my desk.

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Today there is mayhem at my desk, we are redistributing the work load and there is plenty of it! My desk is a mad mess of madness that is slowly getting done!

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Further down the office, some people have made a real effort! Or are we about to be taken over by the Empire?

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I consider getting that work down, and the Sambuca issue that is going to happen later. Did I really say I’d line twenty of them up on the bar at the Swan and Mitre and we would YouTube me necking them? How do I get out of this?? Yep that was a mad thought.

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The answer is simple, if only I was taller and could see through this helmet. We head tot he One Stop and for dinner I have a pullet of tomatoes. At least if these come back I know where I stand.

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But after all this there is one last thing on my mad mind.

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that sometimes it is nice to be appreciated and for someone to say thankyou.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

There is hope for the future, wasn’t it

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I get up for a relaxing start of the day, as today I do not have to rush or be out of the door by a certain time. Of course that means I won’t be finishing those last ten pages just yet.

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For this time I was able to keep the van over night and thus drive it back this morning. It was all too easy, and it played my mind if I’d done the right thing renewing my rail pass this month.

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I enjoyed a hearty meal at dinner time, only one meal to go until it closes.

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And on the train home I got that book out and read it to my hearts content.

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How did she get me to read a story so quick, how did she make me turn the pages of a story I didn't find page turning. There was no doubt about it, I didn’t just want to see how it began, no I wanted to see how it ended to. If it did end that is. There’s hope for the future, wasn’t it.

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For some reason I pondered if Les wanted to do The Circle Line Pub Crawl? I pondered that, and I pondered his reaction. I waited for it. What he replied I wasn't expecting.

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I don't know why I just fancied it right then. Adventure of the worst kind, the type that you don’t have control over, but if you did, would it be a real adventure?

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Back to reality, and it is my parents wedding anniversary. The 49th one!

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Which means a visit to my moms favourite establishment.

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With simple yet nice food.

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and my was it busy there tonight.

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But for whatever reason we never tire of this place.

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And I can feel myself getting fatter and fatter, with every chew, and every swallow.

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Of course I had the kids pudding, for that made me smile.

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We’re grinning gleefully at each other and I feel both utterly endangered and utterly safe, the particular combination which, I realise, we have all been looking for in our lives ever since.





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"Nowhere Near The End Of the Rainbow"
contains information that is non-accurate, made up and in some cases just down right lies. Anything in this blogg may be based on true fiction but to help dramatise it, some items may have been embellished. Some names are made up, others are not and any that are familar to yours just are.



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