Friday, October 10, 2014

Somebody shoot the cowboy in the head

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I arrive at the stables some time latter than expected. Have travelled behind a tractor up the A34 for some ten miles or so. So I rushed into the saloon and got ready pretty smartish. I give Alan the special all the way from Colorado USA cowboy hat to wear. He looks at me and says “this isn’t fancy dress you know”.

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“Where you been partner?” Says double cow girl Zoe.

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The posse looks great and now for a trip down the road to get some strangle looks.

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“Where do you think the horses have gone Alan? I knew we should have tied them up”.

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The taxi came and the traffic across Stockport was horrendous. It would have actually have been quicker by horse! We collect Rosie on the way, and a while latter we have arrived at Victoria Baths for

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The Indy Man Beer Con 2014. I’m guessing that it stands for Independent Manchester beer Convention but I’m actually no wiser than my stable mate.

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We are given a menu, a glass and some tokens. Well when I say given, we buy the tokens.

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WOOOOO Hooo partner look at them balloons.

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To the Saloon then, but which one? There are so many?

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And so many drinks to choose from! You want what beer? Zombie beer!?!? Rosie tells me. oh I can see why you want Zombie beer… its 12%.

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George turns up, already merry. One ponders where his Cowboy hat is?

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“George we’re Cowboys and Cowgirls – I’m a double cowgirl”

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Upstairs of the Saloon we meet with John too “Well no one told me we were cowboys and cowgirls and double cow girls”

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Some drinkies are had, but I soon realise that these are only 1/3 pint drinkies. Bring on the Whiskey!

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And the chilli dogs, that make you eyebrows erect.

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I have something monumental to say exclaims Alan.

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And off George and him go to the bar.

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I have something monumental to drink says George and we all take a sip. Yurk!

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And I have some hot nuts to get rid of the monumental taste that is already in my mouth.

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Well I will try ‘some’ of them nuts you have there

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and some cheeky girl eats most of them.

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When I come back from the next bar visit, “George they didn’t have the drink I wanted so I got this, have a taste”. “Er Yuk is that monumental? Why did you get that.” he says as his eyebrows go all erect. “I didn’t know it was monumental what you had before, until I whiffed it, before the drops had hit my lips and tongue.” Errrrr and there’s only one thing to do in a case like this.

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Yeah Head to the Beavertown bar.

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A few more tokens in and I’m back at snack bar discussing snakes with the makes and how hot the nuts are. I walk away with some Caribbean new recipe nuts they had.

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“Like Alan they are just not right” said John

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People start scoffing real food.

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Scott and Irene turn up with food too. By now all I could think about was “look at those Jalapeno peppers, I’ve got to get my hands on some of those”. Before that though he gave me some of his beer and said “try that Nack.” “Hold it isn’t is it? it is its monumental – Yukkkkkk”

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And I guess what I had with a whole load of nachos. I had extra extra jalapenos on top!

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In the next saloon area  along the band was about to start so we moved venue.

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They seemed to have a lot of lamp shades on stage and pondered if they would miss on or two?

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The music was weird and abstract.

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But no matter where you were you always knew were the boy in the silver cowboy hat was.

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I look into Scott's eyes as if he was a goat.

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And by the time we have finished talking my love film queue has grown all out of proportion.

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The mind bending music continues to crash through the earwax and perpetuate throughout the grey matter inside, thumping the internals of your skull, or is that down to the monumental.

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From one cowgirl to a cowboy we are still a standing.

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The band never know when to stop. But this is not a bad thing.

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And as time ticks so quickly by the area empties

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Alan posies

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And we call an action plan.

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We have more tokens than we thought possible to end with, just how did that happen? We rush tot he bar, we buy far too much liquor, we drink it all to quick, the night is about to come to an end and

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Irene jumps out with a surprise gesture “Lets all go round to mine”

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Hell yes and the cowgirls and cowboys and double cowgirls leave the saloon and

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head to another. Scott generously gets out his beer that's guaranteed to give you head aches, hilusinations, madness and is great if your in labour having a baby. We were meant to be playing Citadels but that all seemed to go bye bye as Ubber Wubber took us all home. I don’t think I be drinking baby bath water again, it didn’t give this cowboy pleasant dreams, it didn’t let me sleep……Somebody please shoot that cowboy in the head.





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"Nowhere Near The End Of the Rainbow"
contains information that is non-accurate, made up and in some cases just down right lies. Anything in this blogg may be based on true fiction but to help dramatise it, some items may have been embellished. Some names are made up, others are not and any that are familar to yours just are.



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 Near The End Of The Rainbow

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