Friday, October 31, 2014

Why am I still Standing?


As we walk out of the gate of the car park and down the dark lane towards the station and the Swam and Mitre pub I consider that I may have made a mistake telling everyone I was going to line up 20 Sambuca's and drink them in quick progression to mark the occasion of employment for twenty years.


On the whole when they didn’t appear on the bar there was a air of disappointment and one of well he’s not stupid. However I just didn’t want to die on the spot in that pub.


And so a long Brew XI was order after I corrected myself from asking for a Castlemain four X which luckily they didn’t do! Along with it my first double Sambuca. No I wasn’t going to let the side down, I was still going to try a drink twenty of them starting now.


Erm this is going to get messy? Who the hell is going to look after him?


The Swan and Mitre was done out really nicely, some great effort had been put in. No doubt there would be a disco later.


They even had a fully working witch, when you walked up to her she…..


Got me another double, so that was four.


Jacqui didn’t look impressed. Nack this will get messy. But at this point she didn’t realise just quiet how messy it was going to get.


Then it was six.


The countdown had begun.


The disco had started.


And number eight had been drunk. So are we moving on or staying for some disco dancing.


The decision was to see if Nack could still walk and off we went to catch the train into Brum Central.


I desperately tried to get a ticket to the centre but whilst I was on the machine the train came and well I got on it with the others. And you may well have thought that was that, but when I got to Brum Central I did buy I ticket for some of the journey home, as somehow I thought I wouldn’t be able to later.


We went to the Bacchus Bar, a place that looks as new as it did some 18 years ago. Nothing has changed in here at all. Drinks are ordered and


some people sit down.


Me though is at the bar. I pay for the round bar card and give them a six seven pound tip and the bar staff love me. I ask for it back.


Mr Burchill turns up to see number ten.


Now its a classy establishment this and all I can say is, Why am I still standing?


I go onto singles and have number Eleven and number twelve separately.


We move onto the Shakespear and there's no stopping us now, Number thirteen, along with another pint of course.


I might be in trouble one considers.


And then fourteen is down.


From here on things get vague. I know this because I don’t know it. What I didn’t know was Bernie fooled me into drinking half a pint of water telling me it was the six Sambuca's left, and apparently after necking it I was upset that she had poisoned my body with water. As I say it didn't happen.


Apparently we left that bar and headed to my favourite Two Smoking Barrels, alias the Old Joint Stock. Now I didn’t get in, the bouncer refused me. The others went in apart from two, who decided it was time to take me to the station. They didn’t just take me to the station.


Nope, they actually sat me on the correct train in a seat. I didn’t know this then but when they left they suddenly wondered if I would ever get off?


I did get off, someone who said they would collect me at the station if need be texted me, just before the station. So I was awake, I wobbled to the nearest kebab house, and had the worlds worst ever Kebab I’ve ever had and then made what seemed a very long walk home. When I got home I remembered the milk man may have been and found the milk behind the bins, I even put my kebab rubbish in my bin, that I discovered the next day. And once in I went to bed…..What I didn’t know was just how messy things had got in Brum without me…..


"Nowhere Near The End Of the Rainbow"
contains information that is non-accurate, made up and in some cases just down right lies. Anything in this blogg may be based on true fiction but to help dramatise it, some items may have been embellished. Some names are made up, others are not and any that are familar to yours just are.





 Near The End Of The Rainbow

An account of something that may one day turn out to be wonderful.......