I wake up in my cosy bed, my head initially buried in the soft and comforting pillows. I raise that weary head and look up, it seems sunny. I stick my head through the curtains. OH no it is, I’d better get out of bed and get that long long long ladder out. I call my dad before I get up and ask him round to help me get it up.
I put my scruffs on and look into the new mirror at my legs. What I didn’t know was these were a fine pair of legs and this was the last time I was going to see them in this mirror.
Whilst I waited for my dad to come round I put up some garden items in the bush at the far, far, far end of the of the garden. Would Zoe approve? Will they illumineate like they are meant to? oh my they are here already.
The long, long, long ladder is heavy. Very heavy, and whilst I can lift it by myself in its closed form. I can not once you extended it. In fact it tells you in the instructions you must use two people,and it truly is misleading really. Three people would be better but ringing and asking my brother round would no doubt be futile, so I don’t even bother. I stretch it out, with a 3 and 3 overlap. Was this how we had it last time we tried it? Neither of us could remember. I put the ladder stay on my boss has leant me and admired it. Now this looks the business.
Up and down was the routine, over and over, as in fact it was too long the first time,yes it went over the roof, the second time still too high, but the third time it was just right.
Okay then, what we need some volunteers, as this looks scary from down here, with my feet firmly on the ground and my head on my shoulders.
Luckily I’ve got one of these, a harness and a lanyard. Even if it doesn’t work, it will make me feel better knowing it should have saved my life as I fall to my death.
And up here I feel like dancing, just like when I’m on the edge of a cliff, looking down to the sea of snow, to the valley below or the sea of water against the crumbling chalk cliffs that are about to say goodbye to you and your feet.
I am latched on. We are safe, I am safe. I ready for action.
As long as I don’t look down that is,
ah the roof, the chimneys, the tv aerials. Who was brave enough to them up then?
And so to the nitty gritty, the bit, of the roof that first needs to have the wood preserver soaked in.
I do it until it is saturated, and then I do it some more, until it drips, I can see it dripping much further down. This is good, its soaking in, moving down and through the grains, into the nooks and crannies.
Sometime later after I’ve let it dry and then reapplied more the job up here is done.
And its nice to see the world from up here, its nice to see the views, its nice to be nosey.
Down on plant earth its time to do some other things.
I mount the first lamp and drill a whole into the tardis cupboard for the electrics.
By this time next year I might have done them!
And then I tidy the area up and
You know those ferns I brought yesterday. I plant them and and move them to the front door, along with the milk bottles.
Notably whilst my parents have been here they have drank my milk. They are very welcome, but come on leave me some.
With my ever green fingers the though occurs they will not last long. Perhaps I should have eaten them after all?
And so I move indoors, not to do that painting, yet, still, but to hang that new mirror up. Erm but something goes very wrong and I’m heading for another seven years of bad luck. I wouldn’t mind but the seven years I’m already subjected to isn’t over for a while yet! And it starts now I guess,
The laundry system is going well. I get my drill out for the additional coat hangers. I drill hoping that the wall is a fake one. But no it is not. The wall internally is brick. That is not good, not good at all, and never is my drill bit, it stops drilling and spins, and then goes like jelly, and then wowwowoowo. Oh no ho no, oh no. DIY disaster ahead.
So if I hadn’t told you, would know I guess. Dam it brick, that's not good. Why brick, why? Are all the walls brick? Are the walls upstairs brick? Ahh my head spins.
Its sorted and functional now.
And the door frame edges are sorted now. A bit of paint on another day, and that will be done. For now I’m tired very tired, I’m still ill, I’ve pushed myself, I’ve done too much. I know it needed doing as it nice, but now I need a rest. I’d like to play with Zoe on the PS3 if she is there, but nope I’ve got to head round the parents for tea and some them time. I get the hoover out and suck up the dust, throw the mirror bits away and jump in a car, not my car, just a silver car…