Monday, November 10, 2014

Of Embarrassment


Monday and I’m going to work in the company car, although not my work, I’m off to site to see my unit delivered, or so I think. I head onto the M6 and go south bound thinking that I would really be better off on the train,


A few hours later I hear not all is well at base camp, me though I’m in the wild Welsh countryside and nearly there.


I pull up and await the equipment and the installation team. The installation team pull up, we go over the work and await the equipment. And wait, and wait, and wait, and wait and


I give in. Its still at the factory and the lorry hasn’t come. After many apologies to the client, I’m embarrassed to say to him “once” more they transport still has not collected it yet. By now even if the truck came it would be dark, so I make arrangements for it to be delivered tomorrow instead and I leave to go back to the office and to find some food. I pull into the “Village shop”.


And admire the view, of nothing ness and garden for the shop.


Inside I’m in for a treat. There are a selection of traditional home made goodies and a very very very old man on the till. A till that appears to completely baffle him. And in the end he uses the scanner! I am bewildered and give him the 88 pence, this must be the bargain of the century?


I sit in the car and admire what it is I’m about to consume, I so hope its as tasty as it looks.


One pasty and one sausage roll, they don’t last long.


And a couple of Bananas will keep me going no matter what and I set off into the lanes. Erm thats odd the car is shaking. I wonder if I have a flat?


I pull up into a pub car park and low and behold the front tyre is flat, defunked, knackered. Here we go I thought and opened up the boot.


The good news is in the boot is one skinny spare tyre and a jack. I set them out and think hold on a minute, did I see a spanner? Did I heck as like. Bloody typical. What I did see though was a can of squirty, and so I connected it up thinking it would get me far enough to a garage. I’ve never actually used one of these, I’ve never been that unfortunate enough, now though right at this moment it was going to be my escape route, or so I thought. But we all know I was wrong. I connected it, I opened the valve, it fizzed, it gurgled, you could hear it expanding in the tyre and then….then nothing, for the puncture was not in the tread, nope the tyre had split in the side wall and foam was now oozing out madly, as it tried to seal. I put the length of my finger over it and it stopped it, that was until I removed my finger, then it reopened, flooding the area with foam. This was just embarrassing, the mess it was making that is.


The goodnews was I’d pulled up safely in a car park with some customers and cars. I started asking around if I could borrow a spanner, harder than you think. Most modern cars don’t have them, and the nuts on car wheels are different sizes. I enter into the pub! Yes that's right its beer time, nope I ask around and eventually the chef says he’s finishing up and if I can hang around he will get the spanner from his girlfriends car who also has a Ford Focus. Well I’m not going anywhere soon I reply. An true to his word he comes back with a spanner and asking if I need a cup of tea.


Sometime latter I have skinny wheel on. Now its going to take some time driving at 50mph to get back to the office.


I tidy up take the spanner back and call my boss about where I am and what's going on. I also point out the car should really have a spanner, other than the one driving it.


It is time to leave then.


And I say goodbye to this sanctuary for


a leisurely drive home.


Once back in Brum I take it to the tyre shop before heading back to the office. Hi, good to see you can make it in. Well what a waste of day that was. Its all still here!


I get the train home and I’m provided with some mail and also the bin men have left me next years bin schedule. These things in life are very exciting for me. I note that they have also taken away the broken printer I had left by the bins.


I give it a dam good read all the ay through.


I like the way that for the people of Cannock they have gone to the trouble of explaining faeces is in fact poo. Why didn’t they just say poo?


Ah and there is the instructions on what to do with your small appliances.


I settle for my good for you tea tonight, corned beef salad with cut it yourself bread.


Oh so yummy yummy if more like a meal for two though again. I feel this will never end!


I look at my “New Home” cards. They have been up for more than two months now, and now although I like them, it is time for them to come down.


I give each one of them another read and unwillingly put them away, they mark a new chapter of my life, I ponder where it will take me, where I will end up, will I stay here. will the place come tumbling down around me?


No what happens is I join The Gebs24 on Facebook and head to my


retro game room until my eyes are tired and


all I want to dream of is the past, not the present and not the future, for the past has served me well.


"Nowhere Near The End Of the Rainbow"
contains information that is non-accurate, made up and in some cases just down right lies. Anything in this blogg may be based on true fiction but to help dramatise it, some items may have been embellished. Some names are made up, others are not and any that are familar to yours just are.





 Near The End Of The Rainbow

An account of something that may one day turn out to be wonderful.......