Sunday, October 18, 2015

What Mother Doesn’t Won’t Hurt.

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I awake at some point, the house is quiet, I take the opportunity to roll back over and fall back to sleep until there is noise from Alan and Zoe. By the time I next wake up some hours have past. I shower and head down, pondering if Alan will seduce me with some breakfast and if Rosie is still around. I find them all staring at the very big screen. Alan does feed us all, with his delightful baked breakfast produce which I devour quickly. Rosie is intending to go home and do some DIY with her dad, whilst we are going Viking hunting in Stockport. Or something like that.

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We eventually manage to turn off the big screen and head off down the road. The first thing we came to weren’t vikings. They seemed to be soliders. No horns, no hooters, no long boats.

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They gave us a demonstration of how to know the seven pieces out of each other, even cutting the lip of the opponent with their sword and them declaring “that isn’t meant to happen”.

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After a demonstration of how heavy some of the items are they are wearing they decide to take on all the children. the Children were all given foam swords.

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I however felt their pain knowing just how hard those foam swords hit you when they are liberally whacked at you over and over again.

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Alan want to get involved in the fighting.

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He has however found some issues with the armour and our technology of the day.

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Zoe puts some gloves on “Stand Back Nack I’m a dangerous Woman”

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Arrrrggghhhhh

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More liek a pussy cat I think though, maybe? err Perhaps not?

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I feel unprotected from her advances though.

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And put on a helmet. Now at least i cant see Zoe coming to punch me in her metallic gloves of death.

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Alan also takes the necessary precautions, however he does look a bit more knitghty in his chain mail than myself.

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And then he adds a helmet. Just how scared is he of her?

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Your right Alan its a better fit.

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Next door is Birdman. Or to you and me, a man with many birds. Now if i was listening correctly, i could have told you what this Raven had to do with Vikings.

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And the owls.

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As it was I was keeping my eyes peeled for terror girl.

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Now the Raven knew something we all should know, and that was Rosies DIY with her dad was going that well, that they “had finished for the day” and turned up. The Raven understood “what my mom doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

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I had know idea what that meant, so Alan decided to ask the Raven himself.

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I’m not sure what the answer was,

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But it cheered Alan up no end.

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He looked so happy.

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He seemed so natural relaxed.

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And so the queue to talk to the Raven got longer.

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And I’m still not sure what was said that made him smile so much.

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Hell spooky!

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Rosie and Birdman spoke for a long long long time.

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So long that the tide had turned and left the longboats stranded on the beaches of Stockport. _20151019_193250

“Do you think we can sail it down the Mersey?” he asks me.

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“Yeah I’m sure they will not notice us just walking off with a long boat guys”, I reply.

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I like the head though, anyone got a saw?

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You could use that tongue as a coat hook, or even a cloak hook. If you had a cloak.

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The dragoin smiles back with a bigger smile than Alan. It must have spoken to the Raven too.

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The local Vikings asked me if I knew when high tide was.

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And then as if by magic Zoe ask if I like her knew cloak.

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Now if we only had something to hang that on?

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Now for those of you how don’t know, there has been a lot of digging going on in Stockport for some time to uncover an old bridge and the river that runs directly under the Mersey Way. I hadn’t seen it and this was my opportunity. They didn’t know why I was so excited about seeing the whole finally finished.

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And once here neither did I.

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It wasn’t quiet the work of art I was expecting.

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But it was for Stockport Heritage Trust, as the Greggs wrapper blew by.

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From here we headed for a coffee, but infact it was quiet late.

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And apart from stumbling on a filmset and filming being done

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The only place open was the Baker’s Vaults.

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And as ever once in, we never come out. Idealy they had a Jazzy band on,

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and that was us all comfy for the afternoon.

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In fact the entertainment was great, just like a Depeche Mode concert and just like a Depeche Mode concert

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They had a tape player playing in the background for the drums.

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If it wasn’t for the fact I was drinking tea, it began to feel like a Saturday afternoon.

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Something dangerous in a pub.

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The set finished and

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Alan and Rosie got a vinyl album each. ohhh great, I looked though and it was in mono. It did state by the side of that though, you should turn it up and you won’t notice!

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Come on then said Alan, prising us out of our seats.

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He took us to Co-Op where I was surprised to see event he sausages were wearing helmets too.

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In the warmth of Alan and Zoe house we played Brugge, snubbing the big TV.

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I played well and pretty much lost. But you must realize its one of their favourite games!

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Tea is however done and gameplay temporarily stops.

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For the fine tucker that is provided, even the squash is smiling at me.

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Eventually I’m tired, too tired, to play another game, to go home, but I do, dropping off Rosie and then cruising in my Mx5 down the magically lit up black path back home. Its not long before my eyes are closed and I’m fast, fast, fast asleep. I made it home first though Winking smile





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"Nowhere Near The End Of the Rainbow"
contains information that is non-accurate, made up and in some cases just down right lies. Anything in this blogg may be based on true fiction but to help dramatise it, some items may have been embellished. Some names are made up, others are not and any that are familar to yours just are.



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