Saturday, November 30, 2013

A Jolly Nasty Time

I woke up rather early, well for being around Alan and ZoĆ«'s, it was 11am ish. I got up, washed and headed down stairs. Standing in the kitchen was 3 boxes of breakfast. Eck No Special K I’m going to have to use my brain and make a choice. Crunchy nut cornflakes, so so yummy I can recall, Country Crisp or Golden Grahams. I cant ever say I’ve had golden grahams so I went with those. In fact I had two bowls!

We went shopping and popped in Stockport. I got some sweets from the old sweet shop, Alan got some pies from the Lord of the Pies Shop for tea – I couldn’t wait to taste one. We then headed into ASDA where Alan was looking a bit lost. While ‘lost’ I saw a car USB adaptor with two ports rated at 1 amp each. A good buy at £5 so I had one. Then I said well while we are here I really could do with some jeans and trouser that may well stay up. All mine are too large now.While I found some that had the right size on them, a miracle in itself because of my short short legs, they had no changing room to try them on in. So back on the shelf they went. An Asda with no changing room that can’t be true, I asked and it was. Then I took Alan into

Cash Converters, where I went to buy Kart Challenge and F1 World Grand Prix. I went to pay the sum of £1.18 when the assistant insisted I selected another as it was 3 for 2.

Then we went to the Heart Foundation Shop and I got some more CD’s. And this was then followed by going to the chip shop. I ask Alan if he minded if we sat in and he ordered the biggest portion of chips and mushy peas in the world. I was quiet envious. How come I only went for the small portion. We had a lovely cup of tea and I waited while Alan never actually finished his super sized portion. We went to the market to buy some beer while Alan waited for some keys to be cut. and then after that “we” hauled the hefty bag back to the car and said hello to Zoe for a short time. She left her shopping with us while we admired the pink fluffy sky. Many people where taking photos of the sky at this point with their telephones to see the beautiful sky phenomena. Zoe went and stood in front of my car whilst taking her photo, so I honked my horn loudly and made gestures of you silly people get the hell out of my way, knowing all the other pedestrians would turn and look at me doing it at her. Of course they probably all actually thought I was the arse driver who needed sorting out.

At some point we left Stockport centre to head to Hazel Grove to go shopping. I’d asked Alan to direct us to a Sainsbury's as the last pair of jeans and trousers I got in a the right size had come from there, a convenience thing at the time and ever since they’ve never had any further leg items in my size! Anyway hence I know what size to go for there. Yep they had plenty so I took them, then we went food shopping for some time, mainly looking for peas. Alan got Brussel sprouts on a stick and tried his best to tell me these are big peas? I got him a can. The can had peas in them. What we had for dinner was peas, Lord of The Pies and mash, simple but absolutely done to loveliness. Rosie had also come for tea so she was in for a treat too.

Now those games I put in the boot yesterday was on the dinner table and everyone was excited about the ‘look’ of The Lost valley of the Dinosaurs, even more so when I got the board out, the mountains and the dinosaurs. I truly can’t remember when this was last out of the box, it had been years and years. The only things missing were two characters, which Zoe swapped with four zombies, and the all important instructions. I searched the internet and found them eventually.

The board was set up and the game was about to commence, unleash the dinosaurs.

The race was on for the explorers to make it across the terrain to the temple collect a gold coin and return safely. Sounds simple.

But then you didn’t count on being picked up by the Pteranodon.

Being dragged back to the dinosaurs lair.

Or lava flowing from the volanco, in front of your path and sorching your feet and land in nfront of your very own eyes.!

ooohhh the excitement as the game evolved.

Occasionally we would halt the excitement for a drink

or two for a beer brought from the High Peek Beer Company.

As the game progressed we started getting nasty with each other in the bid to stop the explorers making it back with the coins.

Things were said like "that’s not fair”, and "stop picking on me all the time”, “take Alan’s explorer to the lair”.

And so he was!

At some point 4 hours later the game came to the conclusion when

someone finally got 3 coins back out of the valley. Quiet frankly this game has never been so much fun!

Over a beer we discussed playing it again for another 4 hours or playing The Really Nasty Horse Racing Game, which has no dinosaurs in it and was seen to be an anticlimax.

It came out of the box though, and whilst first impressions by the others was, the instructions make it look complicated and there’s adding up to be done…

It was set up, the odds worked out

and ready to go.

It was soon realised that you didn’t always want yourself or others to win and part of the game was in fact working out how to lose or making your opponents lose, or more confusingly letting them win but not knowing it.

And of course then there was The Really Nasty Cards to be played!

Incredibly this game became more additive the more nasty the more you played,  and being nastier against each other and was all part of the fun in trying to win big.

The night was well and truly over, it now being early morning at some time. The millionaires were finally ready for bed.

Instructions for Lost Valley Of The Dinosaurs are below……..

I don't have a scanner so here you go...
The Epic 2-4 player game of adventure and fear for all the family.
You have discovered an ancient chart of a lost valley. It shows that the valley was once occupied by a fierce tribe that had collected a vast wealth of treasure and then used dinosaurs to help protect it.
No humans live there now, although the treasure remains hidden in a temple at the top of the valley - and the dinosaurs are still guarding it!
Recently the chart showing the way into the valley and the route to its treasure was stolen from you and you know that the other expeditions have set out to unravel its secrets.
As your party presses onward, a volcano that has been dormant for centuries rumbles and threatens to engulf the landscape in lava.
The race is on. Who will win the fabulous riches of the temple and how many will die in the endeavour?

Gameboard, 2 mountains, volcano cone, 16 explorers (4x green; 4x orange; 4x brown; 4x cream), swamp monster, 6 T-Rex dinosaurs, Pteranodon bird, 30 red lava pieces, 12 treasure coins, 2 dice, pack of 54 adventure cards, press out sheet with: temple, pteranodon's nest, 12 bullets.

Object of the game:
Short game: To be the first to get 1 treasure coin out of the valley.
Long game: To be the first to get 3 treasure coins out of the valley.

Playing the game:
Each turn always consists of two parts:
First: Take a card, read it aloud, and follow the instructions if possible. Put it onto a discard pile unless instructed to keep it.
Second: EITHER Move any ONE of your explorers of your choice on land by throwing 1 die if you are NOT carrying treasure, 2 dice if you ARE carrying treasure;
OR if you are moving in a river, in the swamp, or stepping out of water onto land, do not throw the dice but simply move 1 space only.

Each explorer may enter or leave the valley by any of the four arrows.
He may go in any direction, but may not move into the same space more than once in a turn.
He may not move into a dinosaurs lair or into the swamp. The edge of the swamp is marked by the grey arrows, so he is safe to go onto the 'flowery' spaces just outside them.
Notice that there are two dry crossing places on one river, but only one dry crossing on each of the other two rivers. Cross at these places when moving on a normal dice-throw.
If an explorer wants to wade a river, he ends his turn in the water regardless of any points left on the dice.
An explorer moves only 1 space if he starts a turn in a river or in the swamp.
Explorers may share spaces.
Explorers may not move into a space occupied by a dinosaur or the swamp monster!
Explorers do not need an exact throw to get into the temple or out of the valley.

Being Captured:
If an explorer has been captured, he may not leave the lair so long as the dinosaur is in it with him.
An explorer may escape from a dinosaur's lair by following the footprints:
EITHER on a dice-throw when the dinosaur is absent; OR if you draw a 'dinosaur fight' card at the beginning of your turn - your explorer moves onto one of the footprint spaces next to the entrance, then you throw the dice to move him as normal. If you draw this card and none of your explorers are in lairs, you must move an opponent's explorer out of a lair. (Ignore this card if no-one has been captured.)

Dying of thirst:
If you draw a 'short of water' card, you must move one of your explorers into a river or onto a space next to a river that turn (unless, of course, you are already there!). You do not have to arrive by exact count.

Always try to move dinosaurs strategically to clear your own path or to menace opponents.
Dinosaurs move according to the cards.
They may leave their lairs on any spaces marked by footprints.
They may not enter the Swamp or the Temple or leave the valley. They may move freely on all other land or water spaces. They just stomp across rivers regardless!
During the game, they may move BY EXACT COUNT into any lair if it is unoccupied or occupied only by humans.
They may not share the spaces with each other.
They capture all explorers on any spaces they move through or land on.
If they capture any explorers, they immediately go with them straight to any lair unoccupied by another dinosaur (but there may already be humans there!).
Any explorers eaten alive by dinosaurs are naturally removed from the board for the rest of the game!
Dinosaurs may not take captured humans to a lair that has been cut off by lava.

You 'win' these when you draw a bullet card.
You can use them whenever you want - before a move or after a move.
You can use them singly or all at once in any combination. E.g if you have three bullets, you can move one dinosaur three spaces; or three dinosaurs one space each; or one dinosaur one space and another dinosaur two spaces, etc.
You can use a bullet to land a dinosaur on another explorer, so capturing him and taking him immediately to its lair.

Swamp and swamp monster:
The swamp monster moves only on the grey arrows.
Any explorers landed on by the monster are eaten and removed from play.
If an explorer has the bad luck to fall into the swamp, or to be deposited there by the Pteranodon, his only way out is to move one space per turn via the grey arrows until he reaches dry land beyond the blue arrows. However, there is one 'escape from swamp' card, which allows the fortunate explorer to get out immediately to the stepping-stone exit or the river-space exit - whichever is nearer.
A crafty move: if you get a 'fall in swamp' card, you can take one of your explorers from outside the valley and plave him in the swamp. It might be quicker to reach the temple by moving out of the swamp at one space per turn instead of crossing the entire board on normal throws.
The 'fall in swamp' card does NOT permit you to take an explorer out of a dinosaurs lair (whether or not the dinosaur is at home!).

When you draw a 'pteranodon swoops' card, you may use it EITHER to move one of your explorers to a good, safe space; OR to move an opponent to a dangerous, empty space.
The pteranodon can rescue explorers from the swamp, from guarded and unguarded dinosaurs' lairs, and from spaces which have been cut off from lava.
It can take explorers from outside the vallet and put them in good places (e.g. in the middle of the swamp, near a dinosaur or near the volcano, or on a space or lair cut off by lava).
It cannot land an explorer on an occupied space or in a liar.
The pteranodon always returns to its nest after use. It never takes explorers to its nest.

Lava is dangerous stuff! It can maroon dinosaurs and explorers, cut off river crossings and dinosaurs' lairs, and much more!
One piece of lava occupies one space.
The first piece of lava is laid at the top of the volcano cone. The next piece, and further pieces are laid one per turn.
Once lava reaches the board, it is laid three pieces per turn.
Lava must always be laid on spaces next to previously laid lava.
Lava may be laid on any spaces EXCEPT in the swamp.
No explorer or dinosaur may land on or pass over space occupied by lava.
If you can put lava on a space occupied by an explorer, he is killed and removed from the game!
When all 30 pieces of lava have been laid, you may reposition three pieces of lava on empty spaces adjacent to other lava each time you draw a 'volcano erupts' card.

The Temple:
The Temple is a sanctuary. Only explorers may enter. Any number of explorers may be there at the same time.
You do not have to get an exact throw to enter, but once your explorer enters, your turn ends.
Explorers may enter Or leave by a cave, if you have the relevant card.

Each explorer may carry only one coin at a time. He will need to take it out of the valley, then go in again to fetch another if you are playing the long game.
If one of your explorers falls into the swamp, or is captured by a dinosaur, or carried off by the Pteranodon, he must leave the coin on the space he was occupying. If he dies whilst trying to get water, the treasure is left at the end of his unsuccessful move.
An explorer may claim abandoned treasure by landing on it by exact count.
If one of your explorers lands on another explorer carrying a coin, you may NOT steal it from him. (You must find other ways of making opponents abandon their treasure!)
The Winner:
The first player to bring the required number of treasure coins out of the valley is the hero of the adventure and wins the game.

3 x Danger Ahead! Three Dinosaurs move 2 spaces and three move one space each. All captured expolorers are taken to any Dinosaur's Lair. (Move the Dinosaur and explorer to any available Lair. If the explorer was carrying a coin, it is left on the square from which he was carried away).

1 x Dinosaur Attack! One Dinosaur moves 3 spaces and three other Dinosaurs move 1 space each. Each captured explorer is taken to any Dinosaur's Lair. All captured explorers there are eaten alive! (Move the Dinosaur and explorer to any available Lair. All explorers in that Lair are removed from the game. If the explorer was carrying a coin, it is left on the square from which he was carried away).

3 x Dinosaurs fight and their attention is diverted. One explorer can escape from any Dinosaur Lair by moving one space outside.

4 x Encounter grazing Dinosaurs! Three Dinosaurs move one space each. Each captured explorer is taken to any Dinosaur's Lair to await his fate. (Move the Dinosaur and explorer to any available Lair. If the explorer was carrying a coin, it is left on the square from which he was carried away).

1 x Escape from Swamp. If one of your explorers is trapped in the Swamp, he can escape on this turn by moving to any space immediately beyond his nearest exit from the Swamp.

5 x Expedition disturbs the undergrowth. All the Dinosaurs move one space each. Each captured explorer is taken to any Dinosaur's Lair! (Move the Dinosaur and explorer to any available Lair. If the explorer was carrying a coin, it is left on the square from which he was carried away).

6 x One member of your expedition loses his way and falls into the Swamp. A maximum three spaces ahead of the hungry Swamp Monster! (If the explorer was carrying a coin, it is left on the square from which he lost his way).

6 x Pteranodon Swoops! One explorer is carried anywhere on the board but not into or out of the Temple, or out of the Valley. Any treasure carried by the explorer must be abandoned. (If the explorer is carrying a coin, it is left on the square from which he was carried away).

6 x Restless Dinosaurs! Three Dinosaurs move 2 spaces each. Each captured member of an expedition is taken to any Dinosaur's Lair to await his fate. (Move the Dinosaur and explorer to any available Lair. If the explorer was carrying a coin, it is left on the square from which he was carried away).

6 x The Swamp Monster is disturbed! He moves one more space round the swamp. Any explorer trapped in the swamp on that space is eaten! (The eaten explorer is removed from the game).

7 x Volcano erupts! Lava flows relentlessly forward. One space on the mountain but on reaching the valley three spaces. (Any Dinosaurs or explorers struck by the creeping lava are killed and removed from the game).

2 x You have discovered a chart of a secret passage to the temple. Keep this card until one of your explorers reaches a cave. He can use it to go directly to the Temple (or leave the Temple through the secret passage). Travel one way only. Return this card after use.
(It does exactly what it says on the tin!)

2 x You have found a gun! Keep this card until one of your explorers reaches an abandoned ammunition dump. Find 3 bullets. Return this card. Use bullets on any of your turns. One bullet frightens a Dinosaur one space away. Return each bullet after use.

2 x Your expedition is short of water. One of your explorers must reach the river on this turn or one member of your party dies. (Although the card/rules do not specify which explorer dies, there is a line in the rules saying that if an explorer carrying a coin "dies whilst trying to get water, the treasure is left at the end of his unsuccessful move" suggests that the explorer attempting the river run dies is he fails to make it).

1 x SPARE CARD (Absolutely no use in the game, you can't even use it to replace a missing or damaged card as it has 'SPARE CARD' written in large text across the centre?!)

Friday, November 29, 2013

Its a wonderful life

I put some board games in the boot of the car as I pack in the morning and head to work. I ask if I work half of my lunch break if they would mind me leaving early. This is Ok and at 4:30pm I’m out of the door and heading up the M6. Wow things seem great and it looks like I’ll be in stockport early for a change. Then that thought passed. A few hours later I arrive at 7pm – yeah 2 1/2 hours! Well its good that my bladder is stretchy.

I get out of one car and into another. I’m then whisked off to The wonderful Stockport Plaza, with Alan Zoe and her parent, where we go in to watch in black & white and Mono “Its a Wonderful Life”. We just make it in time, watch some old cartoons first. Alan insists we change seats to the front row, drinking a lovely beer and having ice cream and stretching our legs out. And the was epic watching it in the cinema. Really relaxing and wonderfully nice.

We get dropped off at the blossom on the way back and a have a beer or two – I think

And at kicking out time we head back to the house, where we settle on the sofa and enjoy Alan’s photos of his life for 4 hours before going to bed. It was really nice it was truly wonderful.


Thursday, November 28, 2013

Hello Trevor

There not many games that get me addicted. But Grand Theft Auto 5 really has. I’m doing so well in it too. Then I got bored. And took a yacht out for a sail.

The sailing went on and on and on. Erm solitude. Perhaps what I need is to get out some more and be social?

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Sunday, November 24, 2013

Fancy A Jelly Baby

One thing you should always remember is never trust a girl with a very long multicoloured scarf.

For most people they watched the 50th Doctor Who on Saturday. A bit hard from the bus stop, so for once the PS3 had recorded it without failing. Was I in for a treat I pondered as I sat down to watch it with a rough head and a painful ankle?

Yes it was good. In fact it was utterly brilliant and the biggest treat of all…

was Tom Baker being in it right at the end too. The only thing missing though….. was his very long mutlicoloured scarf? Where could it have got too?

And so it ended on a high and I then watched the after show party. Hell why not!

Thankyou BBC for not mucking it up.

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Saturday, November 23, 2013

Reaching for the UFO’s

I headed to the bus stop in the middle of the village as I couldn’t remember at what time the bus changes its route. It was might cold outside

The Allotment shop isn’t working out so they are changing it to a tea room. Now Sara should be well happy with that. If only they did cake too.

I meet some people in the Hogshead in town I haven't seen for a while. We have a few beers and a right good natter. We change venue and then head past the Civic hall to

The Wulfruna Hall where it is the famous Blast Off night. Worryingly the most popular drink in Wolvo that is on seems to be Strongbow. Once in the Wulfruna Hall not only do they have strongbow but we have the choice. Strongbow out of a can or draught Strongbow in a plastic Squidgy glass. I get us all strongbows in plastic squidgy glasses as its far more fun holding them when dancing.

Some looney juice in the belly and

we are soon on the dance floor regardless of weather anybody else is or not.

Some people reach for the lasers

I reached for the UFO’s.

It ain’t red

I wanted to get out and I knew my brother wanted to go to Decathlon. So we went for a family outing at Decathlon. I new this was dangerous and it turned out to be as I brought something. Not red for a change!

My brother  got the new crank set he so badly needed for the last 4 months and I also got some new ski goggles and a lens for each weather condition on the mountains. From here they wanted feeding.

So I suggested Frankie & Bennies, and headed into Birmingham to the Broadway Plaza as the M6 traffic was so light.

I always love coming here but had never been to this branch. Would it be as good as the rest?

And did we eat Italian American? Well we had two chicken and fries and a fish and fries. I can’t recall what my brother actually had.

All I can say is yummy.


"Nowhere Near The End Of the Rainbow"
contains information that is non-accurate, made up and in some cases just down right lies. Anything in this blogg may be based on true fiction but to help dramatise it, some items may have been embellished. Some names are made up, others are not and any that are familar to yours just are.





 Near The End Of The Rainbow

An account of something that may one day turn out to be wonderful.......